A recent project has me inspired to share my perspective on making some “bad” art along the way. And the process of writing about it has encouraged me to have more grace in other areas of my life. I’d love to hear how you handle your own perceived failures both professionally and personally. Have a read and comment below!
A couple years ago I painted my version of a pretty geometric style sunset over water. Then I painted it again in a different color. Both sold and someone wanted another one, so I painted it again. Fast forward to 2024, a friend said she would love that design on a Bible cover and reminded me of it. I circled back and painted it again in my Spring Collection of card wallets in 3 versions and it was again loved, sold out and requested in custom orders. Next a second friend asked for the design on her custom Bible cover. Of course I was pleased to oblige!
However, my work is always unique - especially when painted and this image continued to evolve with each rendition. I dove in again, painting on a favorite aqua leather and enjoying the process, letting the painting come to life; letting the painting lead and then pushing it back toward the previous versions. But this time the experience brought a reminder of the intuitive balance within design and the push and pull of 'the plan’ vs the process.
When finished this painting had lost its balance and harmony. I was unsettled, dissatisfied with my result. I showed it to my customer/friend and she, loving me and being honest, immediately responded that she agreed. We certainly didn't love it and needed to start over.
Was I disappointed? In short, No. Of course, one hates to start over for the sake of time and materials but I 100% wanted to try again and deliver a custom Bible cover that she LOVED. In addition, I whole heartedly agree that an artist's work should include failures if he/she is truly growing and developing. In fact, I see this "failure" not as discouragement but as confirmation and validation that I AM AN ARTIST! (And in case you are far removed from the experience of the creative, just saying "I am an artist." out loud, is huge. Not kidding.)
So, yes, I am an artist. I practice art. I create. I experiment with form and color and texture, media and technique. I was trained as an undergraduate student in the principles, history and masters of art and introduced to various media. I've been creating literally my entire life and professionally for 5 years. I am an artist drawn to shaping leather and pouring emotion through a paintbrush. And I am not discouraged by learning how to do so through experience that includes repetition, successes and failures.
Madeline L'Engle, (most known for A Wrinkle in Time) has so eloquently described both the intimate depth and necessary repetition of creating in Walking on Water. She notes, "to paint a picture or to write a story or to compose a song is an incarnational activity. The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birth-giver... obedient to the command...We must work everyday, whether we feel like it or not; otherwise when it comes time to get out of the way and listen to the work, we will not be able to heed it."
To create is obedience to live out my own unique design by The Creator himself. It is obedient not only to produce the work but also to develop the skill. I yearn for more time to do so, to express my heart and ideas and translate my inspiration and experience to paper, canvas, leather and even here, in type. I eagerly work to bring a mental vision to fruition, sometimes with success, sometimes unable. And that is ok. I work, I train for the birth of something that resonates beyond me.
Much grace has been given to me and I in return extend it to myself, others and my work. Grace is much sweeter than perfectionism. Rich experience of ups and downs, practice & failures make successes so much more beautiful, connect us and teach us. Grace for figuring it out, learning, reiterating, failing and sometimes succeeding is part of the process to great. It is not only a finished work but the backstory that can evoke something deep in the viewer that make it impactful, "great".
The second take on that Bible cover was beautiful. It was not what was originally pictured but it is its own unique work reminding us of the peace and healing of the ocean waters, and the peace, healing and grace of sweet friendship. All this is the backstory that will always make this second little Bible cover a great work in my heart and hopefully my friend's.
You can see a little more of the fail and the redone pieces in my Instagram reels. (There's that icon in the bottom corner to take you there.) And before you ask- NO, I did not throw away the first version. I plan to use that painted leather in smaller pieces for other projects. :)